Getting engaged is huge! It is one of the most important decisions you will ever make which is why you shouldn’t rush into it. The next step after getting engaged is to get married which will shape your future and if you are even a little bit unsure about it, you probably shouldn’t get into it…certainly not before clearing out all of your doubts.
Here are some of the points to be considered before taking that major step:
- What your career goals are
It is crucial for the both of you to discuss about each others’ career goals and how you visualize yourselves moving forward to achieve them. Both of you should respect each others’ career goals while understanding that things won’t always go according to your plans. It’s better to discuss a few things beforehand:
Are you ready to relocate to a different city for your or your partner’s job?
Are you comfortable with each others’ work time commitments?
What to do if one of you loses their job, etc?
- Your spending habits and finances
When doing the “money talk” it is important to be gentle and move slowly as many of us find it difficult to talk about our finances. Discuss about your debts, savings, budgeting and spending habits because after marriage, you combine your finances which also includes debts (if any). A difference in spending or saving habits doesn’t mean that you aren’t meant to be together. You just have to acknowledge each others’ money attitudes.
- How you settle an argument
You are going to have differences but how you deal with them will determine the long-term success or failure of your relationship. Argue in a way that is healthy and helps the relationship move forward. While arguing, do not keep your views and thoughts to yourself. Discuss them and find a common ground to work past the disagreement. If both of you refrain from putting out your views, it’s more likely that you will hold grudges and create a toxic environment for your relationship.
- Whether or not you want children
Don’t just stop at “Do you want to have children?” Go ahead and discuss: When do you want to have them? How many children do you want? How will you afford the new addition to the family? How do you imagine your roles as parents? What type of parents do you want to be?
When it comes to children, it’s important that you are on the same page before getting engaged.
- If your partner has any addictions like drugs, alcohol, gambling
It is better to be aware of any addiction your partner might be having be it alcohol, drugs, gambling, or anything as such. Finding out about this after having taken the big step doesn’t usually end well. Such an addiction can hinder the future of your relationship.
- How you both feel about and around each others’ family
Marriage brings two families together which is why it is important that you feel comfortable around each others’ family. At the same time, you have to make sure that your family gets along with their family. If that isn’t the case, it will all be manageable as long as you and your significant other present a united front. So, it is better to know what you are getting into before putting a ring on it.
- What religion, belief and faith you follow
If the two of you come from different religious backgrounds, it is better to decide on what religion will you be following, how you will celebrate your religious festivals and how the children’s religious education will be handled (if you ever plan to have children).
- How to divide or take care of the household chores
It is better to set expectations as to how you would like to divide the household chores among each other be it for washing dishes, cooking meals, grocery shopping or cleaning bathrooms. Discuss and set grounds on this matter before one of you gets on the knee.
- How you both handle stress
Stress makes a person vulnerable because of which people often react differently than the usual. Having to go through such a phase with someone by your side gives you a better understanding of how well can they help you cope with such an emotional crisis. Such times will either bring you closer or tear you apart. If you tackle it successfully, you are most likely ready to spend the rest of your lives together.
- Living habits
While dating, you usually discuss about superficial things like your hobbies and interests, but you can’t really know a person without knowing the minutiae of their everyday life. How they start their day, how they like their coffee, what their meals consist of, how tidy or messy are they, which side of the couch they prefer, etc. These are the bits that define a person. It’s better to know such things before you are ready to spend your lives together.
- Each others’ friends
One can tell a lot more about a person by meeting their friends than by meeting their family. This is because friends are the people we choose to spend our time with. It would be great if you gel up well with your partner’s friends because you don’t want to be the couple who cannot hangout with each others’ group. Make some efforts to know them so that they know that you are willing to be a part of them.
- How do you want your wedding
Everyone has different visions when it comes to planning their wedding. The planning period can be nerve-racking and this is the time when you and your partner have to be on the same side. Going through it will give you a gist of what your future planning will be like.
If something else comes to your mind, please share it in the comments!
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